The Emotional Components of Anxiety
Part Two of “A Holistic Approach to Overcoming Anxiety” looked at the mental aspects of anxiety, including the thinking patterns associated with anxiety and the power of our mind to help reshape our experience. Today we will explore how our emotional world is connected to anxiety and how it can be another tool in finding relief.
In my experience the underlying emotion of all anxiety is fear. The particular expression varies; for some of us it is fear of the unknown, or fear of failure, or of dying, being abandoned, going crazy, not having “enough,” etc. It is all attached to fear nonetheless. This notion doesn’t always resonate with us right away because we may not even be conscious of our fear. We don’t “feel” afraid. We feel anxious.
Many of us have become very good at repressing our fear as a way of coping with it; so much so that we have no conscious awareness of it. Yet we see the symptoms of these underlying fears in the “what if?” thought processes discussed in Part Two and the “fight or flight” responses of our nervous system. Our bodies’ messages of distress are clear; the body does not lie.
Coming to recognize and understand underlying fears (even when they seem irrational on the surface) is an important part of reducing anxiety by learning to manage and respond differently to our emotions. When emotions are either repressed (unconsciously) or suppressed (consciously avoided), their energy builds up and affects us in adverse ways.
As we become more conscious of repressed fear, we may begin to recognize other feelings we have pushed down into our subconscious. These tend to be negative, uncomfortable or less acceptable feelings like anger, hurt, disappointment and grief.
To “overcome anxiety,” it is necessary to learn the emotional management skills that allow us to benefit from the valuable information and richness of our feelings without being overwhelmed by them. The following factors are important pieces of overcoming anxiety through emotional intelligence:
- Be aware of feelings. We cannot change our experience without conscious awareness.
- Identify what we are feeling. How can we respond appropriately if we don’t know what it is?
- Express feelings appropriately. Whether in speaking, writing or actions. It is often important to communicate significant feelings to those close to us.
- Process emotional energy. Emotions are “energy in motion.” They should move through us like a wave. When we hang onto emotions (such as anger or resentment) they become like toxic waste.
- Address issues around forgiveness. Unforgiveness ties up our emotional energy in unproductive ways and creates toxicity in the mind, body and soul.
- Recognize predisposing attributes. People who by nature have greater emotional sensitivity are more prone to anxiety. It’s especially important to learn skills for emotional tolerance, self-preservation and healthy boundaries with others.
- Learn to let go of control. Primarily, this is an issue of learning to feel safe from the inside –out.
- Practice self-regulation. Learn to recognize your personal signals of stress and anxiety and how to down-regulate your nervous system when needed. Mind-body practices are particularly helpful for this.
While this list is not exhaustive, you can see that there are many ways emotions can help us overcome anxiety. Emotional management “skills” are just that; they are something we learn. Many adults find that these skills weren’t on the curriculum from their parents or others while growing up, but the good news is that with commitment and practice we can learn them at any age.