Who’s Driving Your Bus?
The feelings are almost palpable now: excitement, anticipation, anxiety, relief, stress, dread, resignation. No matter what your lot in life, chances are that you have some feelings about the start of the school year. Even those without children in school experience the changes. It’s hard to miss the increase in traffic; the lines of big yellow taxis and car pools delivering their precious cargo while following the prescribed routes and avoiding parental glares that say “you’re doing it wrong!”
Maybe It’s Me
If you think you’re the only one feeling this transition so acutely, you’re wrong. The start of the school year is felt throughout a community. After 90 days of getting use to not having a schedule (or rather being responsible for creating the schedule ourselves), we will again have a schedule imposed upon us by outside forces.
The school district dictates when students must be in school and when they are free to go; the coaches dictate when practice will be – and it’s generally subject to change every 5 minutes – or at least it feels that way. It is easy to feel “out of management” of our family’s lives unless we are very intentional about the choices we do have and set appropriate limits for our children and our family.
It’s All About Balance
Having a schedule is not a bad thing. Daily structure provides continuity, predictability and flow that does not require constant mental effort. Structure and routine reduce anxiety for worry-prone kids and adults alike. The problem is not having a schedule, its being over-scheduled; i.e. you serving the schedule rather than the schedule serving you.
Who’s Driving Your Bus?
If you have felt this way in the past, this is your opportunity to create change. It’s a new school year; it’s a fresh start. You can choose to “drive the family bus” in a different direction. Here are a few tips to consider:
STAY IN CHARGE OF YOUR SCHEDULE
This means making time on a regular basis to look at the schedule and communicate with your family about it (I suggest at least once a week). This goes a long way to prevent crossed wires and miscommunications. Staying in charge also means making conscious decisions about what you add to your schedule so that over-scheduling doesn’t just happen. DO NOT say yes to something without giving yourself time to think about it.
MAKE APPROPRIATE ADJUSTMENTS
We can reduce or eliminate much unnecessary stress by having realistic expectations. For example, don’t think your commute time to work in September will be the same as in July; there will likely be more traffic. Plan for it; accommodate it rather than just complaining about it. And give yourself permission to make adjustments in your schedule as needed. Remember it is there to serve you, not the other way around.
PUT UNSCHEDULED TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE
I know this sounds odd, but remember that great summer feeling of wondering what you were going to do that day? We can build smaller versions of that into our schedules if we are willing. Consider that time taken. Put it in a bold color in your planner. Your heart may pound in the beginning and guilt may even creep in, but that’s okay; it will be so worth it. Most importantly, once it’s in your schedule, guard that time like a momma bear guarding her cub!
Blessings for a safe and productive school year!