There are many ways to think about freedom. Freedom to move, act, think, speak, feel, choose, believe and “be” as we wish. Like many gifts, we often think more about freedom when it is missing than when we have it. And when freedom is lacking in any area of life, we experience restriction.
People often describe restriction as feeling trapped, limited, without choice; stressed, pressured or victimized. Do you recognize this anywhere in your life?
What is going on?
Our natural tendency is to push back against restriction and assume that the source is “out there;” e.g. my job, my kids, my spouse, my education, my finances, my history, etc. – that’s where the pressure comes from.
While we may be dealing with external restrictions, there are rarely as significant as our internal ones. Nothing is more powerful in stealing our freedom than self-limiting, self-restricting thoughts, beliefs and expectations. Because, try as I might, I can’t escape myself for very long!
It is common to see people change their job, their relationship, their location, and their friends in their effort to feel free; only to realize that they still feel trapped by a lack of time, energy, peace or financial freedom.
They feel trapped because their internal world is filled with limiting and rigid expectations of how their life “should, must, ought to, has to or needs to be.” I’m not talking about healthy goals and aspirations, but unrealistic, unnecessary standards that keep us feeling unfulfilled and full of pressure.
What can we do?
We can begin a journey to living in true freedom by looking within instead of outside of us. We can be honest with ourselves about the source of our restrictions. It is a big step to recognize how I have been my own jailer all along.
We can become conscious about the expectations we hold for ourselves and others, and we can begin to challenge whether or not they are healthy aspirations or limiting beliefs. Healthy aspirations sound like “I’d like to accomplish” or “I want to work toward.” Limiting beliefs sound like “should” or “must,” and feel self-critical.
Through conscious practice we can release limiting beliefs and replace them with ones that support ease and freedom while inspiring us to grow. When we are free from the inside out, we are free indeed!