What If You’re Wrong About That?
How Your Beliefs Shape Your Life
I was talking with another wellness coach recently who was frustrated and feeling rather stuck in her business. She said that every time she thought about reaching out to someone about her business she felt anxious and sick to her stomach. Even though she is very knowledgeable and passionate about wellness, her belief was “I’m just not good at this. I don’t have what it takes.”
Seeing that her conclusions were based in fear and negative self-belief, I gently answered “Maybe…but what if you’re wrong about that?”
I have had countless variations of this conversation over the years. We all have negative beliefs that are so embedded in our psyche that they seem like absolute truths. Beliefs that have literally shaped who we are and the lives we live. Beliefs so intrinsic to the way we see the world we may not even realize they’re there. But realized or not, they are powerful in their ability to constrict our behavior and limit what is possible for us. Your negative beliefs might sound something like this:
o Life is always full of stress and strain.
o There is only so much (money, time, energy, love) to go around.
o It is weak (wrong) to ask for help.
o The world is not a safe place.
o I am not enough.
o Work has to be hard.
o There is one right way for everything.
o My worth is measured by my accomplishments.
Because these beliefs may seem true, we generally don’t question them until they cause us enough pain or frustration to get our attention; until they threaten a relationship, keep us stuck or make us sick. (I can relate to all three!) Author Gaye Hendricks, in his book entitled The Big Leap describes these events as “hitting an upper limit.”
Once we notice a negative belief, we have a choice about what to do with it. Having lived our whole life on its premise, we can hang on to it for dear life and stay in pain, or we can be brave enough to ask:
What If I’m Wrong About That?
What if there’s another way to see it? Just entertaining the possibility can be very unsettling. It’s hard to let go of something we’ve hung our hat on for so long. It’s so challenging that Gaye Hendricks writes about all of the sabotaging behavior we engage in to avoid it! (I highly recommend reading the whole book.)
But for those who make the shift -it changes everything. And therein lies your power. To know that you have the power to change your life by letting go of your negative beliefs is AMAZING!
Imagine with me for a minute what it would be like to let go of the beliefs that hold you back, limit your peace of mind and constrict your relationships. If you already know what they are, write them down. And then write down the belief you want to hold instead. Go ahead; it’s really that simple.
Now every time that negative belief surfaces, take a breath and consciously let it go and repeat to yourself what you choose to believe instead.
- I am enough
- The world is a safe place
- I work with ease and pleasure
- There is an abundance of time (money, love) available to me
- My life can be peaceful.
Breathe deeply and remind yourself. Repeat often.