Presence, Priorities, Planning and Peace
In our last meeting of the Whole Health Wise group we talked about practices that support moving through the holiday season with less stress and more pleasure. We came up with some great guidelines that are worth sharing. They are appropriately named the “Four Ps.”
Presence
If you allow it, the holidays can rush by in a whirlwind of activities that resemble the blur of lights in your rear view mirror. Your mind will do its best to stay one step ahead of the action; always preparing for what’s coming next; making your list and checking it twice. The result is that you will rarely be where you are.
When you’re focused on the future; what will be, might be, could be, etc. you are not in the present. And when you’re not present, you can’t enjoy the presents of presence: the sights, sounds, smells, smiles and simple pleasures of being with others. You can’t fully experience them because you’re not really there.
Several times during the day take a moment to slow down. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. With your eyes closed notice what you hear, what you smell, the temperature of the room, how your body feels. Now open your eyes and see your surroundings with greater awareness; the colors, sizes and shapes. Take another deep breath and resume your day.
Priorities
The second guideline is to have clear priorities; to know what matters to you. It sounds simple, I know, but the truth is that most of us launch into life without taking the time to make intentional choices about the value we give to things. When we don’t define our own priorities, we will generally allow someone else to define them for us and the result can be disastrous.
Having clear priorities requires reflection; even occasional soul-searching. Because when your schedule becomes overloaded it isn’t always enough to let go of the easy things, sometimes it means giving up on something you value. The clearer you are about what matters most, the easier it is to decide between having clean floors or having friends over.
Not only will clear priorities streamline your decision-making process, they help you be “congruent.” They help your insides (your values) match your outsides (your actions). Being congruent means less internal stress, more ease and a greater sense of satisfaction.
Go to a quiet place. Take a moment or two to just breathe deeply and slow down. Set an intention to get clear about what matters to you and commit to really listening to your heart. Consider the list of possibilities while tuning into your body’s response of tension or ease. Notice which things spark a feeling of desire and which ones feel like obligation. Give yourself permission to prioritize your list based on your experience.
Planning
When we think about planning for the holidays what we generally think about is the “doing”: the schedule, the events, travel, shopping, cooking, etc. It is important to take time to carefully consider what you commit to, to make sure that your calendar reflects your priorities and avoids the over-scheduling that can steal your joy.
Perhaps even more important than planning the external experience of the holidays is to plan for your internal experience; i.e. how you want to “be” and what will support that.
For instance, if your priority is to be relaxed and present vs. tense and harried, you need time and space to do the things that help you stay relaxed and present. Self-care activities (like meditation or yoga for me) are often the first things to go when the schedule feels tight. If you’re planning for your internal experience, they should be the last.
Set aside some planning time when you won’t be distracted or interrupted. Create a pleasant and comfortable space; get something nice to drink or light a candle. With your priorities in mind, get out your calendar and the list of external events to consider. Now write down the things that will support your internal experience. Work with your schedule to make sure that it represents “being” as well as “doing” until you feel satisfied with it. Be sure to share it with your significant others!
Peace
Of all the wishes offered and desired during the holidays, feeling “at peace” is at the top of most lists. Too often we think that peace depends on external circumstances rather than our internal state of being. We wait for “things to settle down;” for people to “work it out,” or for “time to move on.”
But true peace is more than the absence of strife or conflict. Sometimes it is the calm within the storm. Sometimes it is acceptance of what we cannot change. Sometimes it is the choice to forgive when it’s not easy.
Always peace is something that we cultivate in our heart and mind. It is only possible when we are present enough to notice the calm, to consider acceptance or to choose forgiveness.
Take time to reflect on what peace means to you and what may keep it at bay. Open your heart and mind to possibilities for cultivating greater peace in your life.
Presence, Priorities, Planning and Peace.
- Be where you are.
- Know what matters to you.
- Plan for your internal experience.
- Cultivate peace.
Blessings on your holiday practice,
Pam