You may have heard the saying “as within, so without;” it reflects a very simple but profound truth. It captures the idea that your internal world is reflected in the external world; that your relationship with yourself is very much connected to your relationships with others.
This is especially true when it comes to the universal desire to be accepted because there is a reciprocal, relational element to it. If you want to be accepted as you are, it’s important to practice acceptance of others as they are. AND, to accept others as they are you first need to accept yourself as you are. Can you see the cyclical nature of this?
The good news is that the cycle all starts within you; with your own self-acceptance. As your self-acceptance grows, judgment of others decreases and acceptance increases. As your acceptance of others as they are grows, you will experience greater acceptance of who you are by others.
It’s such a cool process I get excited just thinking about it! If your head is swimming, don’t worry; it sounds more complicated than it really is. THE FIRST STEP is to cultivate a practice of greater self-acceptance and less self-criticism. Everything else will organically flow from there.
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean blanket approval of yourself; it is embracing the authentic version of who you are right now. Challenging yourself to grow and change is great, but judgment and shame are far less effective motivators than honest awareness and compassion.
Be the first one to give yourself a break – you deserve it!