What to Do When Sexual Trauma Resurfaces
The last few weeks have put issues of sexual assault, and its long-standing effects, front and center in our minds and conversations. Some of those conversations have been in my office as clients deal with past experiences being stirred or “triggered” by current events. I wanted to write some words of encouragement today because I know they are not alone.
I hope you have not been the victim of sexual assault, but it is very likely that you know someone who has been. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center:
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- One third of women and one out of six men have been the victim of some form of sexual violence in their lifetime
- One out of five women (20%) and one out of 71 men will be raped in their lifetime
Those are staggering numbers of people. People who are our families, our friends and our neighbors. People we see at work, at the grocery store, at school, at church or at the gym. We’ll never know who most of them are, but they are there. If someone in your circles hasn’t quite been themselves lately remember that you don’t know their story or what they are dealing with.
If you or someone you know has resurfacing trauma from sexual violence, here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. As unpleasant and scary as it can feel, resurfacing is a natural part of the healing process. We tend to think of healing as a linear process with a beginning, a middle and an end. We expect that if we have been in therapy or other trauma treatment that it should be a thing of the past. You may even tell yourself “I’ve dealt with that, it’s over.”
While I would love for that to be true, it’s not how the healing of psycho-emotional wounds tends to happen. Rather than a linear line, the healing process is more of an upward spiral. We tend to come back around to painful experiences as life presents opportunities – triggers – that let us know where more healing is needed.
You do not go back to the beginning, but rather address what remains; what you are ready to deal with, what you are ready to share, what you are ready to let go of. With each pass around the spiral you are in a different place; different age, perspective, maturity level and life experience that informs your healing.
Having a spiral mindset of the process will allow you to see resurfacing of trauma as the next opportunity instead of a failure of previous work or something you’ve done wrong.
2. If you’ve been in therapy or other treatment for sexual violence, now is a good time to review your toolbox and pull out practices that have served you in the past. There are many options for this; here are a few to get you thinking:
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- reconnect with your therapist for a few sessions
- review books, workbooks, audios that were helpful to you
- talk to someone you trust
- EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
- journaling
- neuro-biofeedback
- meditation/mindfulness practices
- yoga
- bodywork
- dance, martial arts, movement
- connect with people/activities that help you feel safe and strengthen your self-confidence
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3. If you have never sought help in dealing with the sexual violence of your past, it is not too late. You may have toughed it out and made it through life so far, but you don’t have to do it alone. Professionals can help you learn how to work “with” your healing and not “against” it. Start with finding a trauma therapist in your area or explore some of the options listed above. The important thing is to take action for yourself.
You can find more information and resources on sexual violence at www.nsvrc.org
Please post or share this article with anyone you know who may be helped by it.
To our collective healing,